Self-worth part 1:

“You are worthy of the Life you desire.” To Be Magnetic Program, Deep Imagining

Friends, community, clients, we are jumping right in with true Self Worth. It feels a little daunting when written out like that. It feels like both a large subject to tackle and also imperative as it is at the root of how we live our lives. 

When a baby is newly born, in that very first hour, their eyesight is the best it will be for a long time. When held close to their caregiver, they are quiet, ethereally calm, gazing upon the world with eyes behind which is a Soul still transitioning to the Earth. New babies appear whole, without judgment of self and others, they are not questioning their belonging. It is a moment when, as a L&D nurse doing my routine assessment at 90 minutes of age, I would whisper to them, “Welcome to Earth, we are so glad you came. You are needed and so loved.” I whispered these words hoping to envelope them in a little protection that could go with them out into an often unkind world, home with caregivers that were wounded themselves and even in the best circumstances, would not always be what a baby, toddler, child, or teenager needs. I whispered hoping that on some energetic level, their birthright of wholly intact, high self-worth would stay with them. 

What does the term self-worth mean to you? Does it even land? The dictionary says it means a sense of one’s own value as a human being, synonymous with self-esteem which has to do with confidence in one's worth, abilities, and having self-respect. 

But, does this land viscerally in your body (tell us below)? I don’t think it does. I think intrinsic high self-worth is a foreign feeling to most everyone I have come across, including myself. While it’s not hard to imagine a newborn having intrinsic value, we just love them because they exist (and the hormone Oxytocin ensures this happens), somehow it is much harder for us to look at ourselves and FEEL the sense that we are valued just because we are here.

But what about you? Can you connect yourself to the newborn baby you once were who arrived wholly intact, inherently worthy of every beautiful thing this Life has to offer? Inherently worthy - allowed to have, dare I say, designed specifically for - a Life of freedom, safety, joy, creative expression, abundance, acceptance? I bet it’s tough. There is endless conditioning standing in your way. But this is not an essay on conditioning. If it is difficult to connect to your own feelings of high self-worth, can you imagine your most beloved human, animal, place, or thing, and sense the high value in them? The very same Life Force that created your most Beloved, also created you. 

This is about feeling a feeling in your body of “I am entirely worthy and deserving of the Life I desire.” Because LIFE created me, because my Life is not an accident (even if you were told you were an accident), because My Soul chose to come to this planet at this time, because I am made of the same exact materials that every other living thing on this planet is made of, because LIFE is NOT a mistake. 

In my integrative life coaching practice, I suspect varyingly low levels of self-worth are behind most health challenges and I hope we are on the precipice of a collective download (or should I say collective uplevel).

What does lower self-worth look like in physical form? At Partnered Healing, here are some ways we see it show up with our patients and clients, also ourselves, you are not alone in this: lack of motivation to practice healthful self-care, setting very high/near impossible expectations for yourself, heaviness in the body, legs, feet; body aches from not moving, fatigue, trouble setting aside time for self whether that is for rest, movement, friendship or preparing a nutritious meal. Other indications of lower self-worth which should surprise no one is stooped posture, difficulty keeping boundaries and difficulty expressing desire and needs. 

On the flip side, what does having a relatively higher sense of self-worth look like? In the body it looks and feels like a stable, grounded base in feet and legs, lighter in the shoulders, the throat and eyes are clear, we are able to recognize our needs and express the words to have them met as well as protect our personal boundaries. It looks like hormonal balance, sexual vitality, taking up space, not shrinking or making yourself small or quiet, not holding back on creative spirit. It means being grounded in and acting from a place of “It is my birthright to feel joy. It is my birthright to enjoy my days. It is my birthright to follow what lights me up. It is my birthright to be treated kindly. It is my birthright to have the experiences I want to have. It is my birthright to see beauty, breathe clean air, choose foods that nourish me, spend time with people I care about. It is my birthright to live the fullest expression of who I am. It is my birthright to REST.”

How about this? “It is my birthright to have shelter that protects, inspires and nourishes me. It is my birthright to receive compensation for my unique talents, skills, and experience. It is my birthright to have access to beautiful places that inspire me. It is my birthright to eat foods that my body needs.”

I don’t think we want to say, “It is my birthright to work 40 hours a week for an entity who gets to decide my value, how much rest, what schedule, how many days off I can have. It is my birthright to only be able to afford cheap, processed, unhealthy foods. It is my birthright to have the social determinants of health stacked against me.”

Where are we going with all of this? We want the dialogue in your mind to begin to change from limiting conditioned beliefs about what characteristics (hard worker, smart person, good mom etc) you can achieve that “make you worthy,” to knowing deep down in every cell that you already are whole and worthy of everything you desire. We know, for most it’s a tall order. We will get there step by step. 

Future vision: once we can see ourselves this way, we can expand our vision to include everyone else. What kind of world will that be?

Please continue to follow the Partnered Healing blog and socials for ongoing education and community support as we explore these monthly themes together and slowly pull the pieces together on a Life of High Vitality. 

Written by Jessica Cochran BSN RN

Integrative Coach with Partnered Healing Functional Medicine