Stiffness, pain, and inflammation in your body and what it could be trying to tell you

A Brief Intro to Body Dialogue

In many of the past blogs, I have mentioned that “your body is speaking to you all the time.” I want to spell out some clear examples of what that actually means and what you can do with that information to bring higher vitality into your daily life.

My wish for you is that your body is not a mystery. I wish for you to feel like your body is your closest companion and biggest supporter. I want you to love your body so much, as much as the most loving parent could possibly love her newborn and more than you love any other thing. Wild idea isn’t it? Honestly, what is crazy is that we don’t feel that way.

At Partnered Healing, we want to help you have the wisdom and tools to take your body from something to be battled and contained to your closest confidant and friend. And for you to be the closest confidant, friend, and devoted caregiver to your body.

Why? Because the information is there regardless of whether you heed it or not, because when you do this, you benefit everyone around you, and you might as well have the tools to bring more ease into your life. Most of us are aware of receiving messages from the body, at least on a surface level—like if you feel embarrassed or shy, your cheeks might flush. Maybe your throat feels tight and your voice cracks when you need to say something in public. Say you are going on a date with someone you are excited about—your tummy has butterflies in it and your hands get sweaty. Maybe you wake up with muscle tension in your neck and shoulders and a sense of vague unease. At first you can’t put your finger on it, but in a moment of quiet reflection, you realize you’re simply overwhelmed by your to-do list. These are extremely common manifestations of the connection between the emotions and the body, directly through the nervous system pathway, and are what can be referred to as the mind-body connection.

I want to ask you to take it to a much deeper level. I want you to consider that this process—emotions being communicated through the nervous system to the body, and the body displaying “symptoms” to communicate a message back to you—is happening all day, every day, with every single emotion that arises, whether you are consciously aware of it or not.

In my coaching practice, I have found that the body is quite literal, and using a technique I simply call Body Dialogue, we can discover the emotional root of symptoms and often how to resolve them. Let me give you some common examples. I invite you to reflect a bit on any symptoms you may be having and what messages they may be trying to convey.

Symptom: Acute or Chronic Stiffness in Muscles, Aching Stiff Joints, or Temporary Stiff Areas (like a “crick in your neck”)

Ask yourself: Where are you being inflexible or rigid in your beliefs or thinking? Rigidity can really sneak up on us. It can be disguised as a “strong work ethic,” stubbornness, or “strongly held convictions.” None of these are inherently bad things, and you likely developed these beliefs at a very early age, but if believing them is causing you to push your body too far, making it so you are unable to hear another point of view, or forcing yourself to continue in a job, relationship, or life situation that is not in your highest well-being, then it is not serving you. Your mind and nervous system are uncomfortable acknowledging that you may need to soften your thinking/beliefs, especially if these beliefs have kept you “safe” and helped you belong (be accepted) in your tribe of people, but your body is pointing directly at the need to soften.

What would it be like to soften? To slightly relax your thoughts on what you have to do this day or this week? What if you didn’t hold so tightly to the idea of being correct, perfect, or in control?

Symptom: Gastrointestinal Problems

Anything from mouth ulcers to stomach pain to constipation or diarrhea and more. The stomach or solar plexus is often the center for emotions, at least as much as the heart area. Think about getting nervous or upset and how that makes your belly feel.

Consider the following phrases and ask yourself:

• “eating your words,”

• “swallowing my feelings,”

• are you unwilling or unable to process (not digesting) emotions about things that are happening or have happened in your life?

• are you having difficulty letting go (constipation/elimination) or holding onto anger or resentment?

What would it be like to soften your belly and jaw? Allow your emotions to be expressed in a safe way, like to a trusted friend or in a Journalspeak session (see Nicole Sachs’s work https://www.yourbreakawake.com/journalspeak)? You don’t have to hold it all in or hold onto all of it. Emotions held in become toxic; emotions expressed in a safe way become integrated.

These reasons are exactly what the body symptom is pointing you toward. If it is happening in the body, it is a reflection of the emotional root.

Symptom: General Inflammation / Autoimmune Syndromes

Ask: What emotion is here? These can be related to suppressed or repressed anger/rage, or self-attack (inner critical voice). Inflammation and autoimmune disorders are literally the body attacking itself, and we can often relate it directly to a strong inner critical voice.

What would it be like to soften the inner critic? To recognize that it is just a voice and not always true?

Symptom: “Flares” in Autoimmune Disorders, Lyme Disease, and Other Chronic Symptoms

Ask: Where are you overwhelmed? So many of us are overwhelmed. Please understand humans are uniquely different in their ability to handle stimulus. We know that about 20% of the population is “highly sensitive” (completely normal for them), which means some people are simply going to have a lower energy and capacity for stimulus. This is ok. By Life’s great design, we are not all the same and each person has their inherent value and purpose. When I do Body Dialogue with clients about their symptoms, overwhelm often presents.

What would it be like to cross a few things off that to-do list? What would it be like to be wherever does not require so much stimulus—like the woods, your back deck, a sauna (my personal favorite)?

What Can You Do if You Are Having Symptoms?

Ask.

• Close your eyes.

• Place your hand on your heart and your other hand on your belly or thigh.

• Take a deep breath in and let it out.

• Use your voice out loud, or your internal voice, to ask your body or symptom, “What is this feeling/symptom I am having about?”

• TRUST the first image, thought, word, or feeling that pops into your head.

• If nothing shows up, that is okay. Sometimes if we have ignored our body’s messages for so long, it does not speak back right away. Most of the time it is very ready to speak to you.

• Ask, “What can I do about this to support myself today?”

• TRUST the first image, thought, feeling, or idea that pops into your mind.

• Say, “Thank you for that message. I really appreciate it and I will do my best to do what is being asked.”

Then you do it. Easier said than done, right? It’s one thing to know that you are overwhelmed but not as easy to take the action to remove things from your to-do list.

It’s easy to know you are not being treated respectfully, but harder to set boundaries for yourself.

It’s actually not as easy to hear or see the inner critical voice as separate from yourself, so this one takes some time and practice. You know that bumper sticker that says, “Don’t believe everything you think?” That is what I’m talking about here.

For now, it’s enough to become aware of just how much your body is talking with you. You don't need to make any big changes but I do want to invite you to just think about softening. This is a good time of year to soften—soften your gaze, soften your shoulders, soften your belly and your muscles. Allow for some things to not be perfect. Allow for some rest. Allow yourself to let a few things go if you need to. Allow for deeper breathing. Imagine everything in your body softening, less gripping and grasping. Think about new fallen snow on pine branches—how soft it appears. Place your attention wherever in your body you may be having a sensation or symptom and ask it to soften. Not change or be different or go away—just soften a little bit. That is enough.

For more individualized guidance on dialoguing with your body, please discuss Integrative Life Coaching with your Partnered Healing provider.

Written by

Jessica Cochran BSN RN

Integrative Life Coach