Self-Worth Part 2: How Did We Get Here?“

“When a child hears negative words spoken about or to herself, she does not hate the adult that said them. Instead, a child turns that hatred inward towards herself.”

— Nurse Family Partnership DANCE Education Training

How the Critical Voice is Born

Those critical words—layered on top of restrictive and harsh cultural conditioning about what is “acceptable” (appearance, race, gender, clothing, abilities, interests, career, etc.)—become the seed of the inner critical voices we hear in our minds.

Our hope is that simply understanding this truth helps you begin to see your inherent worthiness. To remember that you belong here. To recognize that the critical voice is misguided.

We Are Born Worthy

Last week on the blog, we talked about how we are all born with intrinsic self-worth. And in case you need to hear it again:

LIFE does not require you to prove your worthiness. LIFE knows you were born worthy.

So… how do we get from being newborn babies—full of potential for personal growth and joy—to adults with varying levels of low self-worth?

Why Don’t We Live From Our Full Worth?

If we were born with it, why aren’t we all naturally living our best lives?

Why don’t we choose our experiences based on what’s fulfilling and nourishing to our bodies and minds?

Why do we overschedule, overwork, overcommit? Why do we people-please?

In other words—why do we make choices that go against our own well-being?

This is not about selfishness. I’m talking about the same level of care you’d want for your Most Beloved—a child, a partner, a pet, a dear friend. Why don’t we care for ourselves in that same way?

The Critical Voice at Work

The answer is simple: Because the critical voice inside your mind tells you you’re not worthy of living your best life.

Sometimes it’s loud and recognizable—echoing a parent, boss, or teacher saying you don’t deserve that job or relationship. Sometimes it’s quieter—showing up as generalized anxiety, a sense of being broken, or a lingering “not ok” feeling.

Without intentional awareness, this self-recrimination runs silently in the background, shaping your choices, emotions, and reactions.

What We Know at Partnered Healing

We know that this voice is confused—shaped by wounded caregivers and a complex culture.

We know that what it says is not true.

We KNOW you are worthy of living your best life.

We KNOW you deserve to feel healthy, strong, and well.

We KNOW you are capable of becoming all that you authentically desire to be.

We KNOW your well-being never comes at the cost of another’s.

We KNOW that when you are living your best life, you inspire others to do the same.

We WANT you to realize your full worth, dreams, and potential—because when you thrive, it benefits all of us.

Remember what I used to whisper to the babies: “Welcome to the planet. We’re so glad you came. You are SO loved.”

You are that.

Welcome. We’re so glad you’re here.

YOU are so loved.

What’s Next

In our next post, we’ll explore how to begin raising self-worth—and why it’s worth the effort.

But for now, know this: Following what brings you joy, practicing what supports a healthy body, and caring for yourself the way you’d care for your Most Beloved—that is how you begin to reclaim the high worthiness you were born with.

If you feel moved to share, leave a comment telling us one small way you honor your own self-worth.

Step by step, day by day—you can reclaim yourself.

Written by Jessica Cochran BSN RN

Integrative Coach with Partnered Healing Functional Medicine