What does healing from chronic pain, illness and anxiety feel like? Maybe not like you think.

In a recent Q&A session with people who are healing from chronic pain, anxiety, and illness, someone asked:

“How can I help myself feel like I’m actually healing?”

It’s a big question. And while there’s plenty of advice out there telling you to “just believe” you’re healed, “picture yourself better,” or “imagine how it will be,” that’s often an impossible order for someone who has been sick for months—or even decades.

Frankly, many people in that position feel as though their suffering is being dismissed, or that it isn’t seen as valid.

Real Healing Is Rarely a Straight Line

In truth, healing is a halting process: you start, stop, move forward, slide back a little—or sometimes a lot—and then move forward again.

The key is learning to anchor the feeling of progress in your body, and to manage the fear that naturally shows up along the way.

If it’s been years since you’ve felt well, your brain needs to be shown that healing is actually possible. You can start by listening to real stories of people who have recovered from chronic illness. (The Cure for Chronic Pain podcast with Nicole Sachs is a great example.)

Why Brain Science Matters

You can also learn about the brain science behind neuroplasticity—which is not “woo-woo” at all, but a scientifically proven biological phenomenon. Neuroplasticity means that when you expose yourself to new ideas on repeat and allow them to take root, your brain will literally lay down new neural pathways. Over time, new cells connect to new cells, creating fresh patterns for how you think, feel, and act.

Just like building—or breaking—a habit, this takes time: at least one to three months of consistent practice.

Start Small: Finding Well-Being in Your Body

We begin with small moments where you can locate a sense of well-being in your body. It might be something you remember from before illness set in.

In my integrative coaching sessions, clients often say, “I just want to be able to do the things I used to do.” I always ask, “What were those things?”

They might say:

• Play ball

• Play with their kids

• Sleep easily

• Cook a meal

The next step is to get specific about how that felt physically.

• Did your arms and back feel strong?

• Did you feel a bubbly, warm excitement?

• Did you feel rooted through your feet, or light and free?

Describe these sensations in your body, not just in your mind.

Nurturing the Feeling

Once you’ve located that feeling, let it grow. See it as a living, pulsing light—tiny at first—and nurture it gently, without forcing. Think of it as something fragile that needs protection and care, rather than placing big expectations on your body to be “fully healed” right away.

It’s much easier to reconnect to a feeling your body once knew than to try to invent one from scratch.

Facing the Fear of Feeling Better

Here’s the harder part: once you start feeling a little better—through nervous system regulation, nourishing foods, supplements, movement, and any medical recommendations—the fear will likely show up.

Fear of relapse. Fear that feeling better won’t last.

Unfortunately, if that fear is strong enough to dysregulate your nervous system, it can trigger a flare—confirming your brain’s belief that it isn’t safe or possible to heal.

This is why we expect fear, just as we might expect withdrawal or resistance when breaking a tough habit. And we prepare for it by lining up tools to support ourselves when fear or symptoms return.

Rinse and Repeat

This cycle will happen again and again. Each time you notice an improvement, instead of wishing it were “more,” lean into it. Welcome it. Nurture it.

“Dear Body, I really appreciate this improvement. Thank you.”

When a flare happens, respond with compassion:

“Dear Body, I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. This won’t last forever. We can be better again.”

Healing isn’t just mind over matter—it’s a daily choice to lean into the science, the tools, and the trust that your body can change.

We’re Here to Be Your Vision Holders

At Partnered Healing, we work with people at every stage of healing—from those in deep suffering, to those who’ve experienced remarkable improvements, to those who now consider themselves well.

We’d love to walk with you on your journey.

Please feel free to share your thoughts or questions in the comments below, and consider sharing this post with someone who might benefit.

Thanks for reading.

Written by Jessica Cochran, BSN RNIntegrative Life Coach, Partnered Healing Functional Medicine